Music can be sublime, beautiful, inspiring and memorable
It can also be dreadful, horrific and drive you up the wall.
This, unfortunately, is the latter.
We all know the songs, the ones which make you think “What in God’s name was that?” before it stays in your head driving you bonkers for the rest of the day.
These are my selections, if you don’t agree please comment below with your own suggestions.
10. Barbie Girl – Aqua
This was Number One in the charts for far too long at some points in the late 1990s.
This was a godawful piece of Europop from a group called Aqua, who were surprisingly successful and even down the line made a “serious” record.
Serious this aint, documenting what it’s like to be a doll in a serious relationship.
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9.mmmbop - Hanson
Yeah, we all remember this.
Three brothers who looked like girls with high voices put out this ridiculously annoying song called “mmmbop”.
“What’s an mmmbop?” I hear you ask.
I don’t know, but it’s something clearly very annoying.
This reminds me of a friend of mine who walked in the room while this vid was playing, saw the lead singer and went “Cor, she’s fit” before realising he had made a fatal, never-to-be-forgotten error.
8. Agadoo-Black Lace
This piece of 1984 garbage by Black Lace never made it to Number One, which is merciful, but is still always played at hotels full of Scottish holidaymakers armed with hilarious fake plastic bottoms in Torremelinos.
“Push pineapple shake the tree” – inspired.
Q Magazine, where people know way more than me about these things, declared it the worst song ever made.
EDIT: It appears WordPress hates it too, as it won’t let me up load the video. It’s here.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=agadoo&aq=f
7. Beautiful South
If there was an award for most annoying band, this lot would cruise to it.
I’ve always loathed their bland, pointless music.
Then, as I got older I heard their meaningless, stupid lyrics, and they became an instant “station changer” in the car.
There’s a wide range of their rubbish available on youtube this is one chosen at random, they’re all equally terrible.
6. Saturday Night-Whigfield
A Danish singer called Whigfield made this hateful bit of Eurodancepop nonsense when I was a kid at school.
Like most terrible songs it came with an accompanying dance which all the girls did at school discos while the boys sat and tried to be cool.
5. King of Rock and Roll- Prefab Sprout
This is regarded as an 80s classic, but I loathe it.
It’s the stupid chorus “hot dog, jumping frog, Al-ber-querque that particularly gets me.
What does it mean?
Bog all that’s what
It’s irritating from start to finish and a real sticker in your head.
4. Blue – Eiffel 65
Those Europeans have a lot to answer for.
First Aqua, then Whigfield, then this.
Blue, the tale of a little blue man living in a little blue world is a mind-meltingly repetitive piece of non-music.
Rubbish.
3. Rockstar-Nickelback
To a man, people who know about music all hate Nickelback.
They sold huge amounts of records in America, which suggests their brand of super-commercial rock music is rubbish.
Then, they annoyed music snobs even more by producing this cheesy attempt at irony saying people want live a rock star life rather than do it for the music like man.
The irony being that this is a super-annoying attempt at producing a catchy bestseller.
Yah, this is like way too commercial man.
2. birdie Song
Don’t really need to say much about this, still heard a lot in wedding discos.
There’s no proper vid, but lots of annoying things available instead.
1.Achy Breaky Heart
Miley Cyrus senior had a tremendous mullet, and did something no-one should ever do and brought country and western to the mainstream British public.
It did well in the charts and again sold loads in America, where they like that sort of thing, like they like guns, big portions and preachers.
Global gossip network makes superinjnctions particularly un-super
In Comment, Multifarious, News, Politics on May 9, 2011 at 6:35 pmThere’s been a lot of talk recently about these super-injunctions got in court by celebrities to protect news organisations publishing scandalous details of their private lives.
The first question is one of public interest, is it right for newspapers to publish sordid details of a celeb having an affair?
Newspapers will say yes, they live their lives in public and shouldn’t be able to shut out something that people will be interested in.
The celebs, and seemingly the courts, think they should be able to do what they like in their private lives and not be hounded by the vultures of the press.
If we didn’t live in a shallow-celeb obsessed world then it probably wouldn’t matter, but we do and everyone (including me to a point) wants to know whether their favourite singer/actress/footballer is indulging in a bit of extra curricular activity behind their doting partner’s back.
The injunctions are super-secret, the papers often aren’t even allowed to publish they have been taken out.
The problem is in this day and age, social networks like Twitter are rife with gossip.
Just this week, an account was set up naming the celebs with injunctions.
How long it lasts is another story, but it’s out there.
Likewise, all the national papers know who they are, and they tell their friends, who put thinly disguised hints on Twitter.
Can you police Twitter?
I would assume it’s a civil matter, perhaps a hotshot lawyer could spend their days searching for people spilling the beans on Twitter, but it’s hardly a cast iron way of doing things.
The good thing is, MPs don’t like these superinjunctions any more than the public do and moves are in place to review whether they should be allowed at all.
The fact is, celebs know the way the national papers are and some, like Jordan/Katie Price, are fine operators who maximise the celebrity obsession to its full potential.
The short answer is, if you’re in the public eye, try to keep it in your trousers, as with technology the way it is, you’ll do bloody well to hide your dirty little secrets.
EDIT: As if to prove my point, this post got 174 views in about four hours when I put it up yesterday. I’ve got no doubt most of them would’ve been from people searching for the identities of the celebs involved.
Sadly, themultifarious.com does not have access to the finest lawyers in the land, so cannot reveal who they are.