Music can be sublime, beautiful, inspiring and memorable

It can also be dreadful, horrific and drive you up the wall.

This, unfortunately, is the latter.

We all know the songs, the ones which make you think “What in God’s name was that?” before it stays in your head driving you bonkers for the rest of the day.

These are my selections, if you don’t agree please comment below with your own suggestions.

10. Barbie Girl – Aqua

This was Number One in the charts for far too long at some points in the late 1990s.

This was a godawful piece of Europop from a group called Aqua, who were surprisingly successful and even down the line made a “serious” record.

Serious this aint, documenting what it’s like to be a doll in a serious relationship.

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9.mmmbop - Hanson

Yeah,  we all remember this.

Three brothers who looked like girls with high voices put out this ridiculously annoying song called “mmmbop”.

“What’s an mmmbop?” I hear you ask.

I don’t know, but it’s something clearly very annoying.

This reminds me of a friend of mine who walked in the room while this vid was playing, saw the lead singer and went “Cor, she’s fit” before realising he had made a fatal, never-to-be-forgotten error.

8. Agadoo-Black Lace

This piece of 1984 garbage by Black Lace never made it to Number One, which is merciful, but is still always played at hotels full  of Scottish holidaymakers armed with hilarious fake plastic bottoms in Torremelinos.

“Push pineapple shake the tree” – inspired.

Q Magazine, where people know way more than me about these things, declared it the worst song ever made.

EDIT: It appears WordPress hates it too, as it won’t let me up load the video. It’s here.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=agadoo&aq=f

7. Beautiful South

If there was an award for most annoying band, this lot would cruise to it.

I’ve always loathed their bland, pointless music.

Then, as I got older I heard their meaningless, stupid lyrics, and they became an instant “station changer” in the car.

There’s a wide range of their rubbish available on youtube this is one chosen at random, they’re all equally terrible.

6. Saturday Night-Whigfield

A Danish singer called Whigfield made this hateful bit of Eurodancepop nonsense when I was a kid at school.

Like most terrible songs it came with an accompanying dance which all the girls did at school discos while the boys sat and tried to be cool.

 

5. King of Rock and Roll- Prefab Sprout

This is regarded as an 80s classic, but I loathe it.

It’s the stupid  chorus “hot dog, jumping frog, Al-ber-querque that particularly gets me.

What does it mean?

Bog all that’s what

It’s irritating from start to finish and a real sticker in your head.

4. Blue – Eiffel 65

Those Europeans have a lot to answer for.

First Aqua, then Whigfield, then this.

Blue, the tale of a little blue man living in a little blue world is a mind-meltingly repetitive piece of non-music.

Rubbish.

 

3.  Rockstar-Nickelback

To a man, people who know about music all hate Nickelback.

They sold huge amounts of records in America, which suggests their brand of super-commercial rock music is rubbish.

Then, they annoyed music snobs even more by producing this cheesy attempt at irony saying people want live a rock star life rather than do it for the music like man.

The irony being that this is a super-annoying attempt at producing a catchy bestseller.

Yah, this is like way too commercial man.

2. birdie Song

Don’t really need to say much about this, still heard a lot in wedding discos.

There’s no proper vid, but lots of annoying things available instead.

1.Achy Breaky Heart

Miley Cyrus senior had a tremendous mullet, and did something no-one should ever do and brought country and western to the mainstream British public.

It did well in the charts and again sold loads in America, where they like that sort of thing, like they like guns, big portions and preachers.