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Archive for the ‘Comment’ Category

Global gossip network makes superinjnctions particularly un-super

In Comment, Multifarious, News, Politics on May 9, 2011 at 6:35 pm

There’s  been a lot of talk recently about these super-injunctions got in court by celebrities to protect news organisations publishing scandalous details of their private lives.

The first question is one of public interest, is it right for newspapers to publish sordid details of a celeb having an affair?

Newspapers will say yes, they live their lives in public and shouldn’t be able to shut out something that people will be interested in.

The celebs, and seemingly the courts, think they should be able to do what they like in their private lives and not be hounded by the vultures of the press.

If we didn’t live in a shallow-celeb obsessed world then it probably wouldn’t matter, but we do and everyone (including me to a point) wants to know whether their favourite singer/actress/footballer is indulging in a bit of extra curricular activity behind their doting partner’s back.

The injunctions are super-secret, the papers often aren’t even allowed to publish they have been taken out.

The problem is in this day and age, social networks like Twitter are rife with gossip.

Just this week, an account was set up naming the celebs with injunctions.

How long it lasts is another story, but it’s out there.

Likewise, all the national papers know who they are, and they tell their friends, who put thinly disguised hints on Twitter.

Can you police Twitter?

I would assume it’s a civil matter, perhaps a hotshot lawyer could spend their days searching for people spilling the beans on Twitter, but it’s hardly a cast iron way of doing things.

The good thing is, MPs don’t like these superinjunctions any more than the public do and moves are in place to review whether they should be allowed at all.

The fact is, celebs know the way the national papers are and some, like Jordan/Katie Price, are fine operators who maximise the celebrity obsession to its full potential.

The short answer is, if you’re in the public eye, try to keep it in your trousers, as with technology the way it is, you’ll do bloody well to hide your dirty little secrets.

EDIT: As if to prove my point, this post got 174 views in about four hours when I put it up yesterday. I’ve got no doubt most of them would’ve been from people searching for the identities of the celebs involved.

Sadly, themultifarious.com does not have access to the finest lawyers in the land, so cannot reveal who they are.

Council chief execs are easy tabloid target

In Comment, Multifarious, News, Politics on April 3, 2011 at 9:24 am

One of the more boring topics of debate amongst the national newspapers is the subject of the salaries of local authority chief executives.

The phrase “earns more than the Prime Minister” appears in pretty much every story.

Yes, they get paid a lot, but running a council is bloody hard.

Very few chief executives of companies (who often earn a lot more) face the prospect of going to prison but  if a child dies in care, a council chief exec can face charges of corporate manslaughter.

So, if the salaries are reduced, the good people go elsewhere thus leading to a drop in quality of council services and probably more children dying in care.

It’s not a massively glamourous job either, you inevitably get what you want to do stopped because the councillors don’t feel it’s politically right, you get moaned at constantly by the public, you get ever changing government rules you have to follow and spend money on changing things you’ve already spent money on, you get told to build houses, spend a lot of money on identifying where to build houses and then people start protesting against it, you get told to look after children and then get less money to do it every year, you spend money on the roads, then it snows and they get full of potholes, so people moan.

I’m not saying all councils are brilliant, some waste huge amounts on bonkers projects, but the idea that people in charge of a hugely complex system involving hundreds of people doing hundreds of things, are overpaid is ridiculous.

These chief execs are an easy target to the rabid right wing tabloids, but if you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

Then of course when no-one’s bins get collected, the schools start failing and children start dying, they might get some proper stories.

Holy Smoke, leave us alone.

In Comment, Multifarious, News, Politics on March 11, 2011 at 8:45 pm

This week, the Government announced shops would no longer have cigarettes on display as the latest part of the war against smoking.

This annoyed me.

I’m not a smoker, I never have been, and I was delighted when it was banned in pubs and bars as it made my clothes stink.

Now they smell of puke, sweat and farts, which is not great, but less likely to give you cancer.

Out of sight out of mind is the idea, but really who goes into a Tesco express to get some milk, looks behind the counter and thinks “ooh, they look nice - I think I’ll take up smoking”?

No-one.

The Government says smokers take up valuable resources in the NHS which could be directed elsewhere.

Right, so you need to take the same attitude to booze then, which is a huge drain.

Also, across the country literally thousands of people go to hospital every day after being injured playing sport. Better ban sport.

Likewise, people go to hospital after car crashes, better ban driving, and also crossing the road in case you get run over.

Oh yeah, don’t forget everyone’s too fat, better ban crisps.

The dangers of smoking are splashed everywhere and huge amounts of money have been spent on campaigns warning of the dangers.

Surely, everyone knows.

No-one I’ve ever met who smokes has said: “What do you mean it’s bad for you?” before stubbing out their fag and vowing never to smoke again.

So, if people really want to start something that could well kill them. They will.

Apart from fairly ridiculous spending, the Labour Government’s biggest failing in my eyes was telling us all exactly what we can and can’t do, and they were criticised by their opposition for doing this.

Now, lo and behold, the new Government is doing the same thing. Well I never.

Dave, stick to your cuts, making sure there’s no nasty things like libraries and leisure centre where people who vote for Labour can get books and go swimming.

Don’t forget to ensure your wealthy benefactors can benefit from various tax loopholes, and trust people to make their own decisions.

Of course, with nothing else to do, smoking may well become a popular hobby, and then there may be a problem.

Txt spk, its fkn sht

In Comment, Multifarious, News on February 28, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Wouldn’t it be annoying if you met someone who didn’t use vowels?

H mt, fncy gng fr pnt?  cr  shs ft.  mrnng hw r y tdy

(Hi mate, fancy going for a pint? Cor, she’s fit. Morning, how are you today?)

It wouldn’t work, so why do seemingly intelligent  people feel the need to send messages in this way?

Listen, I know I’m a bit of a pedant.

I correct people when they say less when they mean fewer, and I get angry about apostrophes and people writing ‘your shit’ when they mean “you’re shit”  unless they have  a  perverse interest in my body functions (in fact, I’d get angry at that too).

But I get really annoyed if I get a text or  an email written in a way it takes me six attempts to  read before I get what it’s on about.

I can understand why kids do it, because the other kids they send it to can understand (plus none of them can spell)

But why do adults do it?

I ask them, they say “it’s quicker”, I say “it’s quicker for you to type,  but it takes me six times to  read  it”

Plus, how busy is your  life if you can’t spend an additional seven seconds typing a message properly? Answer: it’s not.

Just  type as if you were writing to your gran, properly and in full and marvel at the fact you can still spell.

The Best Days of Your Life – Just Get Past the Predators

In Comment, Multifarious, News on February 3, 2011 at 8:44 pm

I left school 11 years ago, and have been involved planning a get together for the class of  1993, which seems a ridiculous length of time ago.

It got me thinking about how funny school is and how much fun you have.

HOWEVER, the first day of senior school is undoubtedly one of the most terrifying days of your life..

It all began in 1993, we were tiny people, sent in to a world of bigger, older, kids, whose sole aim seemed to destroy.

If you’ve ever seen those documentaries about those baby turtles scrambling desperately for the safety of the sea after hatching, being in the first year of school is a bit like that.

There’s a big nasty predator just waiting to pick you off on every corner.

First, you have to change class for lessons, which is a total mind-melter.

Second, there’s different lessons on different days, so you have to take different things on different days, which means you need a big bag.

In fact, your parents buy you a massive bag, probably weighing more than you, and that is ideal  for getting stuck in doors and being tipped over.

You have a timetable, it takes six weeks to learn.

That means you need  two PE kits, football boots, trainers, all your books, pens etc on you the entire time.

It’s ridiculous, lugging a bag weighing the same as the moon around with you, mainly because the book you need was inevitably at the bottom meaning a massive unpack in every single lesson.

And there is the bastard called homework.

I remember on the first day, the  school had a nice idea of stationing older kids around the sc hool so we  could ask where the rooms were.

Nice idea, but clearly it was set for disaster as they sent us on a merry dance around the school.

I remember one girl arriving almost in tears as a lesson was ending having been sent to the other end of the school TWICE.

 As a first year, you are despised, the lowest of the low, a pesky turd that won’t go away.

You get hit, you get pushed, you get mocked, you have hair disasters.

And teachers like to stamp their mark.

I remember standing in the playground in my pants (white y fronts, cool) when the terrifying PE teacher had enough of our yapping and sent us out.

Then there are the fights.

At junior school fights involved a bit of wrestling.

At senior school, it was pretty much two full grown men breaking each other’s noses, which was utterly terrifying.

And then there’s girls.

That’s right, the ones you used to cringe at having to do country dancing with suddenly become much more appealing.

It doesn’t matter though, because at that age you’re either spotty and gross or still resemble an eight-year-old, and by the time you get slightly less revolting they’re going out with a bloke who’s got a car and a tattoo.

(Even at that age, we knew those blokes were seedy and weird, sadly, the girls didn’t).

So, it’s tough being a baby turtle, but the survivors went on to grow big and strong, at least we thought we did.

More coming on this soon folks.

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