I thought I’d bring this back to the top of the site.
Here we go again, moments that drive us all absolutely barmy, we see it, everyone in the stadium sees it, the world sees it but the idiot in the black uniform who matters the most misses it.
This is the top ten cheats
10. Rivaldo dive
This pathetic incident happened in the World Cup in 2002 in the game between Turkey and Brazil.
The Turkish player boots the ball to Rivaldo, who is waiting to take a corner.
It strikes Rivaldo gently in the leg, yet he goes down clutching his face as if he’s been on the end of a particularly good right hook.
Stupid ref then sends off Turkish player, much to the annoyance of the rest of the team, the management and the watching world.
Rivaldo was subsequently banned, on the grounds of being a twat you’d guess.
9. Neil Back
England rugby legend Back is playing for Leicester Tigers in the European Cup final.
His team were leading, but opponents Munster got a scrum not very far out, dead centre in the last minute.
Irish scrum half goes to put the ball in, as he does, the originally nicknamed “Backy” taps it with his hand back into his own side of the scrum.
For those of you not au fait with rugby, this is akin to punching the ball into the goal in football, a no no.
The ref, however, is standing on the other side, keeping an eye on one of the props, and so misses it.
8. Trevor Chappell
The least well-known of the famous Australian cricketing dynasty is probably the most notorious.
This is a clip from a one-day game against New Zealand in the 1970s.
After you’ve finished laughing at their kits, you’ll need to know New Zealand needed six of the last ball to win.
As a result, Chappell rolls it gently underarm along the ground, thus making it impossible.
The rules were changed after this.
I particularly like the way the batsman reacts.
Despite being a pro sportsman, he reacts in the way anyone else would, by giving him a look which says “you utter c**t’.
7. Tonya Harding
Nancy Kerrigan (Above) 
Tonya Harding
Ice skating is not well-known for scandal, but this is pretty unbelievable.
American Harding was embroiled in scandal after her husband hired a man to attack and injure herbiggest rival, Nancy Kerrigan.
The injury put Kerrigan out of the US figure skating championships in 1994, which Harding went on to win.
She was found guilty of helping to cover up the incident, but has always denied masterminding it.
It’s still a blatant act of cheating though, whoever is responsible, and there’s no doubt she benefited.
6.
Thierry Henry
Old Thierry is a fabulous player, but may well be remembered for a piece of handling Jonny Wilkinson would be proud of.
Running down the wing, the ball bounces up and he scoops it along with his hand before crossing it to William Gallas who whacks it in, thus winning France the game and sending poor old Republic of Ireland out of the World Cup.
Cue rage in Ireland, where there were demands for a replay.
They also conveniently forgot they won one of their earlier games thanks to an extreme dodgy penalty, but there was outcry nonetheless.
This is one of those things where you wonder how no-one saw it as it is so obvious, and anyway, who wants to see a load of Championship cloggers playing in the World Cup at the expense of messrs Henry, Anelka and Ribery.
5. Spain’s Paralympic basketball team
The sheer brass and morally wrong-ness of this is brilliant.
In the Paralympics of 2000, the Spanish team was stripped of the gold medal it had won in the intellectual disability competition after it was revealed 10 of the 12 players had nothing wrong with them.
The rules stated that to be allowed to play, players had to have an IQ of less than 70 (they could’ve asked the majority of Premiership footballers).
Spain didn’t bother to do the tests and were rightly stripped of the medals.
4. F1 Crash
I hate Formula 1 with a passion, so when I read about this I smiled.
The second most interesting thing that’s ever happened in the sport, after the tragic death of Ayrton Senna, was when Flavio Briatore, the mega-rich owner of the Renault team, instructed their driver Nelson Piquet junior to deliberately crash to help their lead driver, Fernando Alonso, win the Grand Prix in Singapore last year.
I know what I’d say if someone told me to crash while driving at 200mph but here’s the clip
3.Ronald Koeman
This is still the single moment that has enraged me most in any sporting ocassion.
This is the famous incident from the must win World Cup Qualifier in 1994.
First, Koeman hauls down David Platt when clean through on goal inside the penalty area.
Red card and a penno you must think?
No no, Koeman then convinces the ref not only was the foul outside the box, it was a mere yellow card.
As the script then suggests, the blond-haired get went and scored at the other end, meaning England didn’t qualify.
Happily, it did lead to the sacking of Graham Taylor.
A few points to make, if you look, he grabs Platt’s shirt just outside the area, however, he’s still got hold of it when he goes down very much inside the area.
He is also clearly the last man who has prevented a clear goalscoring opportunity, therefore a red card.
But the good old ref sums up why everyone hates refs by getting two massive decisions completely wrong, allowing good old Ron to stay on and score admittedly a very good free kick.
That said, have a look at who’s playing for England, Carlton Palmer, Tony Dorigo, no wonder we didn’t qualify.
Also check out the Dutch manager’s combover.
For some reason I can only find highlights in Dutch, which somehow makes it even more annoying.
And yes, David Seaman should’ve saved both, especially Bergkamp’s, which was rolling gently across the ground.
2. Ben Johnson
Somehow athletics officials failed to notice Ben Johnson’s yellow eyes and bodybuilder’s physique at the 1988 Seoul Olympics.
His time of 9.79 seconds smashed the then world record and is only slightly slower than Usain Bolt’s 9.58 seconds record 21 years on.
Of course, he was found to have pumped himself full of steroids.
You’ll notice a young Linford Christie finishing in third, which was pushed to second when Johnson was found to have more drugs inside him than an NHS Foundation Trust.
1. Diego Maradonna
Yes, who else could it be? Another dirty cheating foreigner who cheated our heroic footballers out of World Cup glory.
We all know about the “Hand of God”, but I have a few questions, why did no-one twig that it was very unlikely that Maradonna, about 5ft 3in, would be able to outjump a 6ft plus goalkeeper stretching as high as he could for the ball?
We also have to applaud the little twat for his first goal, probably the best ever, but why didn’t any of England’s lumbering midfield do what you or I would have done and booted him up in the air?
Mind you, they probably couldn’t even get close enough to do that.
As you marvel at the nimble feet of the Argentinian genius, take stock of how incredibly slow England midfielder Peter Reid is.
Here’s his amazing goal (with some really terrible commentary), which actually made it 2-0 after the handball debacle.
and here’s his ridiculous cheating.
The Best Days of Your Life – Just Get Past the Predators
In Comment, Multifarious, News on February 3, 2011 at 8:44 pmI left school 11 years ago, and have been involved planning a get together for the class of 1993, which seems a ridiculous length of time ago.
It got me thinking about how funny school is and how much fun you have.
HOWEVER, the first day of senior school is undoubtedly one of the most terrifying days of your life..
It all began in 1993, we were tiny people, sent in to a world of bigger, older, kids, whose sole aim seemed to destroy.
If you’ve ever seen those documentaries about those baby turtles scrambling desperately for the safety of the sea after hatching, being in the first year of school is a bit like that.
There’s a big nasty predator just waiting to pick you off on every corner.
First, you have to change class for lessons, which is a total mind-melter.
Second, there’s different lessons on different days, so you have to take different things on different days, which means you need a big bag.
In fact, your parents buy you a massive bag, probably weighing more than you, and that is ideal for getting stuck in doors and being tipped over.
You have a timetable, it takes six weeks to learn.
That means you need two PE kits, football boots, trainers, all your books, pens etc on you the entire time.
It’s ridiculous, lugging a bag weighing the same as the moon around with you, mainly because the book you need was inevitably at the bottom meaning a massive unpack in every single lesson.
And there is the bastard called homework.
I remember on the first day, the school had a nice idea of stationing older kids around the sc hool so we could ask where the rooms were.
Nice idea, but clearly it was set for disaster as they sent us on a merry dance around the school.
I remember one girl arriving almost in tears as a lesson was ending having been sent to the other end of the school TWICE.
As a first year, you are despised, the lowest of the low, a pesky turd that won’t go away.
You get hit, you get pushed, you get mocked, you have hair disasters.
And teachers like to stamp their mark.
I remember standing in the playground in my pants (white y fronts, cool) when the terrifying PE teacher had enough of our yapping and sent us out.
Then there are the fights.
At junior school fights involved a bit of wrestling.
At senior school, it was pretty much two full grown men breaking each other’s noses, which was utterly terrifying.
And then there’s girls.
That’s right, the ones you used to cringe at having to do country dancing with suddenly become much more appealing.
It doesn’t matter though, because at that age you’re either spotty and gross or still resemble an eight-year-old, and by the time you get slightly less revolting they’re going out with a bloke who’s got a car and a tattoo.
(Even at that age, we knew those blokes were seedy and weird, sadly, the girls didn’t).
So, it’s tough being a baby turtle, but the survivors went on to grow big and strong, at least we thought we did.
More coming on this soon folks.